--~@ Conflict @~--

did u ever come to a point when u have to make a crucial decision in your life? example; in marrying your future wife, choosing between two alternatives ( both of which may be unpleasant), desire both to do something and not to do it or to write about your mistress inside your blog or not (instant suicide).

what can you do when coming to this? avoid conflict, maintain, escalate, or reduce it, run, act stupid or just simply being neutral. some people said conflict can never lead to anything positive. well, if you can think wisely and act rationally, anything negative may turns into something positive. Conflict with people does not mean that there is anger involved. There are a whole range of emotions that surface in conflict situations.

For example, cold war between best friend. Have you heard about 'good buddy rules'? for example; when two best friend keeping their interest in the same woman. who should withdraw his approach? well, thats depends on who will be the fastest or braveest enough in making the first move. once his best friend outclass him, he must step back..otherwise, he will breaking the rules. but, of coz it is also depends on her. we cant force somebody to love you isn't it.

wat cause conflict? Most psychology books suggest that conflicts come from two tendencies: approach and avoidance. To approach is to have a tendency to do something or to move in a direction that will be pleasurable and satisfying. To avoid is to resist doing something, perhaps because it will not be pleasurable or satisfying.

so, how to solve conflict exactly? different people has different approach in handling their own conflict. the result of course varies from person to person.

there is no best way in solving your own conflict. Considering all the gathered facts, feelings and opinions about the conflict might helps. Or maybe making list of options to the problem, for example; considering possible positive and negative consequences of each. by doing that you have an idea from the option list which one of priority. Next maybe you could depersonalise the options to avoid focus on the personalities of those involved. Developing a consensus for the option that most resolves the conflict, even if it involves compromise also giving a hand or two.

P.S. Defining the level of conflict can lead to the selection of appropriate responses to conflict resolution. but be prepare, the level is just a screen for a deeper level of conflict. One situation may include several different levels of conflict.

until then