---~@ Selamat Hari Raya!! @~---

Only 1 day left until we go on holiday , celebrate Hari Raya with our parents at malaysia! I’m so looking forward to this holiday..I feel I really need a break (well, my wife really need De break).

Hotels is now booked, places to visit noted down,..I only need to plan the days, which places to visit on which day, depending on their location (already planned tho).

mum done sewing my daughter's baju kurung (both of them), my baju melayu and my wife baju kurung..im so excited to tell u the truth. this is the first hari raya together with my family after 5 years! ( i think..i cant remember...its been so long).

we will get 3 weeks break, other than balik kampung..me and wife will see a lot of sand and beach i tell you..hehehhe, just the two of us. no disturbance or whatsoever. just me and her. sounds like honeymoon to me. ouchh!

anyways, no updates for the next 3 weeks or so. but b4 we off, we would like to wish u all a very happy Hari Raya Aidilfitri & Maaf Zahir Batin! Semoga bergumbira di Hari yang mulia ini.

P.S. Lalalalallalalalaalalala.....aspalela

until then

---~@ Melukis dan mewarna @~---

04 Oktober ni Insyirah akan genap 4 tahun. Dia dah pandai melukis dan mewarna. Semuanya hasil tunjuk ajar ayahnya. Maklumla, ayahnya pandai melukis. Harap mamanya.. ehehee.. Jadi, inilah antara lukisan2 yang telah dihasilkan.

---~@ Renungan @~---

until then

---~@ Sleepless in My Bed @~---

i dun sleep well last night. i dun know, most probably because of the warm weather (although it was quite windy during the day). autumn is coming soon and according to the weather forecast, we shall experience strong wind for the entire week.

i dun know about weather, sometimes it doesn't make sense. i missed Malaysia's atmosphere (good god!..its been so long since i used the word 'atmosphere'..funny isn't it). You know sometimes words do not pop up during my daily conversation (especially me, always repeating the same words over and over again, poor vocabulary). but when it come down to write something, words came out everywhere just like popcorn! (even though what i write for eg: grammar/verbs/etc is tunggang terbalik) but i dun care, nobody judge my writing so far. hehhe..my brain's processor to slow (that's the most reasonable answer; i guess). yeah sure. admit it man..your getting sloppy-yeah sure.


seriously, i dun like sleepless night..makes my eyes burns in the morning! but last night were different (well, weather is one of the main reason anyway) but that's not the point. something or someone out there..at my backyard garden, in the middle of the night!. always knocking (more like a tapping sound to me sometimes) at my windows everyday. anyway, the knocking always at 2 am or 3 am in the morning. at first, takut jugak. but after time goes by..we become friend (or so to say, i dun disturb you..you don disturb me) i guess they want to live also right?, so why bother? sharing is always the best solution.

P.S. there something out there people..i tell u


until then

---~@ Saja-saja @~---

Just for laugh

A young man wished to buy a pair of gloves for his sweetheart's Birthday, so he went to an expensive boutique, bought the finest gloves available and asked the saleswoman to have them delivered with a note. While wrapping the gloves, a clerk accidentally mixed up the order and sent a pair of panties instead.

Here is the note the young man sent to his sweetheart:

Darling,

I chose these, because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. I would have chosen long ones with buttons, but because your sister wears the short ones that are so easy to remove, I decided to get the same style for you. Although these are a delicate shade, the lady I bought them from showed me a pair she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had the sales girl try them on for me and they looked really smart. I wish I could be there to put them on for you for the first time. No doubt many other hands will touch them before I see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on while cleaning them so they don't shrink. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you like them and will wear them for me on Friday night.

All my Love.

P. S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

hahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahha...."with a little fur showing!" ahahahhahahahahah LOL!!!

---~@ Argghhh!! @~----

i don like being angry, cause when im angry im a complete package of different person and personalities (believe me)-yeah sure. but some people like to see me in rage and explode! getting my blood boiled seems like a hobby. i never tell you guys, but i seldom get angry for nothing. god! i feel so mad right now!


P.S. i guess my weekend will not be a fine break after all!


until then

---~@ My FingerNails @~---

If I've never mentioned it, I have funny looking fingernails. They probably don't looked odd in photos because they're chubby and always next to other 'chubby' (same o same o), like a tea cup shape~ bentuk cawan (well, that was my mife always told me anyway). Yesterday (or the day before, or... I have no idea), I was watching my hands while driving. And, you know how you can repeat a word over and over and it starts sounding wrong? Like, I have this problem with "democratic" especially. After about 10 rounds it just sounds like caveman mush to me. Even the spelling looks wrong, and if I keep going, I worry I might lose the word forever...well, sort of, maybe.

Democratic, democracy,.

The more I watched my fingernails, the more "wrong" they looked. Even before I was 'fat', my hands/fingernails looked the same, so I'm sure it's still looked the same even more now (plus some bruises of wear and tear after all these years). But, back then, it seemed my odd fingernails doesnt looked something "to looked at" as it is now.

I used to get the odd compliment, even. (Okay, maybe two compliments in total. And one was from my mother)

Anyway, hypnotized by the reflection of my hands, one word started pulsing in my head: vestigial. Vestigial. Vestigial. (I have to say that one about 20 times before it starts feeling like a foreign language.) My hands looked like they were going to pop out of Arnold Schwarzenegger's stomach. (No, wait, the cab driver's stomach. The one with eleven kids. You know.)

But I'm over it now. (Sure.)

do you ever thinking of doing manicure of pedicure (what ever it is)? Men dont do that. do they? my wife ask me (couple month b4..i cant remember), she plans do get her nails done. i ask her "what for?, i like your nails just the way it is". and she replied, " i just want to know what it feels like when your nails being pamper and care.." (i guess that was the most reasonable answer), so i said Yes.

Still, i dont see in any way my fingernails were odd or different. they grow evently, colour, smells (maybe) the same as humans fingernails, well.. except, now I feel better for sharing. Exhale.

And try to sleep.

P.S. how much money will it cost me to get a manicure? anyone?

until then

---~@ Shes Coming @~---

Autumn is definitely coming soon, if she’s not here already.


Fall is always my favourite. Leaves changing colours; not so much the raking of the leaves, but the colours are beautiful. I love cuddling with my wife in bed under blankets and slowly warming up. (but not this time tho). hhmmm, maybe next month.



P.S. Fall is such a special time of year. I’m excited for it to come. and oh, happy weekends!

until then

---~@ Away @~---

Sometimes I had nothing written, sometimes I had outlines, sometimes I had notes to myself. I didn’t think it was helpful to post those on the blog.

my thoughts have been wandering quite a bit lately, toward things that i can't begin to define. i'm working on it, though. so, i have nothing to write. what can i do? maybe the grieve of losing my grandmother still within me.

My life has been playing through my mind as though it were a movie, mostly when I am trying to sleep. I don't verbalize my thoughts to anyone so I am using my blog to clear my head. I don't expect anyone to want to read this..I'm sure it only interests me but you are welcome if you choose tho.

each persons coughs up different stories.


P.S. Please don stop the music inside my head!

until then

---~@ My GrandMother @~---

My grandmother passed away this afternoon. We all knew it was going to happen, but I didn't think it would be so soon. I'm trying not to think about it, but am thinking really hard about it at the same time.

Weird, yeah? Hah. Sure, she was crabby and sometimes awkward to talk to, but she was pretty chill. She was my grandmother. I always her favourite grandson, n always be.

I keep wondering what's gonna happen. We always go to her house for family get-togethers and during Hari Raya. Well, for these coming Aidil Fitri...im gonna visit you at your final resting place instead. No more hugs n kisses, only Al-Fatihah n Yaasin.

What will we do about it now? What will happen to the house? Will we fall apart or come closer together? It wasn't the same when Grandaddy died because Grandmother was still there. I was younger, too. for god sake, my father was young (n im not even born yet when my grandfather died)..

I'm just happy she went in smooth, no pain or anything. I'm doing that thing I do. Where I think that if I ignore it, it won't be true. But I know it's for real. Even though it feels so surreal.

The funeral was 3 hours ago..

It hurts, but I'll be okay. Grandmother's in a better place. She's with Grandaddy now. She's been sick and tired these last few days. I hope she's happy now, though, wherever she is.

I love you, Grandmother.

Al-Fatihah

until then

---~@ Selamat Berpuasa @~---

Alhamdulillah, it’s Ramadhan again. Time really flies. This time last year, there were only my wife and fellow malaysians (embassy) celebrating the Holy month. No bazaar Ramadhan, no air tebu or kuih-muih to accompany us. And most of the time, there would be sembahyang tarawikh, but only on weekend, berbuka beramai-ramai di kedutaan. Such a small life I was having, thousand miles away from home.

There were time when I miss home so much, miss the warm of my parents love, the presence of my siblings and the food that i might be having at berbuka. But then again, those are memories now.

The sad and joy living overseas that only selected few have the privilege to experience. It’s now time to look forward of what lies in front of me…. bazaar Ramadhan for a start teehehehee…. Berbuka with ayah, emak, As and Ani hit me deep. IM NOT HOME JUST YET

May in this Ramadhan we become a better person than before. May this Ramadhan brings everlasting joy and happiness. May this Ramadhan brings us peace and serenity deep inside our heart and may in this Ramadhan….. we found what we are looking for. InsyaAllah.

P.S. Lagi 3 minggu nak balik mesia. Balik Kampung! Ooooo..Balik Kampung! Oooooo Balik Kampung...Hati girang...

until then

---~@ Bonjour! @~---

Just came back from France yesterday. Tiring but refreshing! The best family holiday ever!, yet, more to come..

anyways, the update will follow, soon ( i hope, eventually tho). i need to rest...if not my mumbling words, unexciting writing, most boring journal..then i might be (most probably) just stick to posting pictures only, no harm done, doesnt it? once again, i need to rest n lying down.

P.S. to many things going on rite now, i cant even remember my name..

until then