--~@ cakap belakang @~--

talking behind your back, cakap belakang, mengumpat...all have the same meaning, depends on how one interpret. If you figure out your best friend is talking behind your back, then maybe they aren't really a friend after all. if it's happen to me, well i think it sure hurts me bad. Either build the relationship, or cut it off, depending on how serious it is. Example;

"he dresses weird."Not enough to stop a friendship.

or

"he's so stupid! he's just a jerk and annoying. Personally, I hate him." That's enough to cut one off.

If you know for sure that someone is talking about you, the worse thing to do is to confront or not speak to that person. Instead, keep this information to yourself and try to build back the relationship, if possible. Confronting or ignoring someone will start drawing in attention and make you look like the villain (eventho u r the victim here).

back talking and act as if nothing happen is normal in our community (typical malay). frend between frends, brothers and sisters, husband and wife, office colleague, etc. its funny tho when this thing happens, they sure know how to communicate delicately and discreetly, out of suspicion from the victim.

anyways, there is nuthing i or we can do to stop talking behind our back (if it is a good talking, then i think it is ok..er, dun u think-but still IT IS back talking). like i said earlier, it is normal in our community. dah macam jadik darah daging. the best thing to do is don be paranoid, do not confront, do not start a fight and do not make it obvious that you are trying to see if they are talking about you. eventually and hopefully all this talks will pass and pray to god that those people who was talking behind your back find their way into maturity (puberty?) or finally found something to do rather than talking about others life.

P.S. as human, i also 'back talking' sometimes, and it is hurts when u know someone also talking behind your back. now i sure do know how it feels to be the victim.

until then