---~@ What to write? @~---

"pasal apa lama tak update?"

"bila bukak blog..hmmm...still no update....ZZZzzzzzzzz.."

"wei! hidup lagi ka?"

to be honest with you, i don't know what to write and what to put. my blog is not a diary (if it was a diary..it will be very private and personal). after all, i never wrote a diary in my entire life..well..once, for a month...

let just say it is a journal of 30 year old married man, jobless, experiencing a brain shrinkage and in the edge.

i agreed..im not a good writer, well..not even close to good. Huh!!..sometimes, when i read other people's blog and compared it to mine, im furious, envy, jealous, all at the same time. how they could manipulated words so easily and beautifully without stumbling?. me? i cant even make a sentence without retyping the whole paragraph. ahhahahahahhaha....amend here and retype there, and the end result not as good as i imagine they will become. despite the fact that my brain is not used to write something or anything (im not saying im gud in maths..im dumb as a mule when it comes to calculation and methods), coming to think of it, at least im trying to write and tell...well..something.

i remember my teacher once said, "if u want to be a good writer..read a lot of books and try to understand them".

i remember every time i read an english book, there always a dictionary right beside me. after one paragraph..open dictionary, read one line, refer dictionary, simultaneously. after a while, i cant even remember what the heck im reading..once again, im lost in translation. it took me an hour to finish a chapter (about 15 pages..more or less).

i remember my first english book titled "Menti the mouse". i read it during one of my daily visit to the library every afternoon after school. i was 7 that time. actually i read the book by mistake. i used to read the same book (there were many series of 'Menti the Mouse' with his numerous adventure) but in Malay. One day, i accidentally borrowed the same book but in English. when i arrived home, it puzzled me, why i cant read the sentences and i cant even understand a single word. then i ask my mum to read it for me. She said, the book was in english language. she told me i cant read the book like the way i used to read in Malay language. (i was in Methodist school during my kindergarden..so i know very little english. i know a little bit Mandarin though..but now...totally forgot! what a loss).

now, im 30. what do a man in his 30 going to do with his life? life is short. and i cant even write a good article! there are so much to do in a very short time...

P.S. I think i still remember when i was 5, i lost my sandal at my neighbour's house. but the memories so faint..i dun think i can still remember all when im in my 60's..if?

until then